i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
