how can u be prego again
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize