Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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