Sponge bath it is.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
