But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
