He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
