and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
