Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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