I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
