I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
