I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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