one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My dick has a subreddit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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