I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
