So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
