making cat noises will not fix the situation.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
