i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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