I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
