Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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