to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
try to milk me bitch
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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