By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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