chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
