i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
