I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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