Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
