Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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