i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Someone signed my nipple.
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