I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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