Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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