I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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