dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
