i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's never too late to be topless.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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