I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize