Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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