Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
