38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
