so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize