i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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