what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
