Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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