I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
