just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
