sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize