Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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