Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
