8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
