Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
