Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
