Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
