I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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