My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
