did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
