There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
