that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
