Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I want her autograph on my taint
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
