So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
