Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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