i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize