I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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